I have been in the Philippines for over 17 years and have been working here. I married in Japan in my 20s and ended my 6 year marriage in my 30s. And about three years later, in 2003 AD, I remarried here in the Philippines. This marriage was a full 15 years this year, and I had two daughters, two sons, with my wife (Filipino).
However, my wife is not the first Filipino who I have ever met, and there were actually three Filipinas who became my girlfriend before my wife. And honestly speaking, there are quite a few other women who are related (mostly so-called prostitutes).
While the previous marriage period lasted only 6 years, including about 1 year when they separated, the current house seems to continue as it is, but my experience is always worth for what I have now.
Marriage reality in Philippines
Divorce used to be NOT existing
As general information, there was information that the influence of Catholicism, the country of the Philippines, was very strong, and recently the president signed a bill allowing divorce. I did not know yet, but there was no system called divorce. (That is, it is the theory that a person cannot overturn what he has vowed before God. So-called “until death divide two of you…)
However, this is a face-to-face story, and in fact, in the past, if the court applied for invalidation of the marriage relationship, and if it was approved, a de facto divorce was established. However, the problem here is that it is almost impossible to carry out the procedure individually, and it was necessary to hire a lawyer and go through a complicated procedure of six months to one year .
In other words, most people who do not have such economic power say that they do not have the freedom to divorce even if they have personal disagreements and domestic violence.
Abortion isn’t allowed either
In addition, due to the influence of the above religion, abortion is not allowed, and if the government asks for the use of contraceptives as a means of avoiding population growth, the church protested against it, Those who hear are excommunicating “(that is, for those devout Catholics, who account for 80% of the population, they are excommunicated by the church), which also spreads to the common people. There was no current situation.
Furthermore, even if you become pregnant by being raped, abortion is basically not allowed (or there is no officially guaranteed technology in the first place) … It has existed in the Philippines.
However, in the upper middle class and higher (30% of the population that is economically higher), there are basically wide opportunities to access higher education. In addition to gaining knowledge, even the worst (virtually) divorce can be solved financially, and artificial abortion can be done overseas, so it is quite different from the actual situation of the common people described so far There is a situation, and the basic sense of those minorities may not be much different from that of the Japanese.
Realistic marriage and single mothers are everywhere!!
Reality in Philippines
With the background as I told you earlier,
- Since divorce is not possible, many couples continue to be in fact married without going through regular marriage procedures to see each other.
- There are some couples who are in fact married because the marriage relationship has already broken, and even if a person who is in a separated state finds the next partner, the legal marriage procedure cannot be followed.
- Contraception and abortion are not possible (in the general population), so if you have a gender relationship before you have a marriage, you are more likely to become pregnant. However, even if a woman’s pregnant and discovered, the men who take responsibility are rather minority, resulting in an increase in single mothers.
There is a special situation here.
Also, I do not know when I see the official announcement of the Philippine government, but as long as I am here and looking at the general public situation, there are clearly more women, and men are not exposed to partners However, we can see that the female side is slightly more likely to be intimidated, which may support the above-mentioned situation with many single mothers.
I will go into the main topic from now on.
Generally, women have more educational history and talents
From here, we exclude the upper middle class and higher levels as described in the previous chapter, and describe the current status of the majority of the lower levels (common people). The level and economic power tend to be lower than girls.
Contrary to the modern liberal state, there is a feudal system based on the economic power of a family that has vested interests of colonial origin. Girls might be dumped easily.
Even if such a girl is in love with a boy in the same common class, it is possible that girls need to feed husbands
However, because of the tendency of too many girls here, girls also may not be able to marry if they don’t try to find boyfriends. When a boy who is active and likes it appears, he will express his feelings of love without hesitating. (This is really easy to understand if you get used to it. Japanese boys are struggling to read the real intentions of Japanese girls.)
Single mothers are everywhere!!
By the way, even if there are many single mothers, sometimes girls are active enough to survive without husbands more than they need to babysit their husbands. Sometimes they just want kids but not husbands.
That’s why, for example, when I go to KTV (* here, a shop like a Japanese hippo without take-away), sometimes I get approached by girls very aggressively. But once I tell them I’m married Filipino, they give up. Those situation might even occur some fights among them and still if you rape girls, you might be sued.
However, if my family is in Japan and if I work here alone, things will be completely different. And this is the background to the existence of “local wives”.
Still, some girls want to have secret relationships. In this case, of course I couldn’t turn them down…
There’s a thing to be careful
However, as mentioned in the previous chapter, you should be careful to use condoms because there is basically no custom of contraceptives unless the other person’s main job is a prostitute. That’s bad. In that case, if you fail, you bear the risk of pregnancy, so you need to think carefully about what to do. (Of course, there are not a few Japanese men who escape due to failure of contraception, and in fact, 99% of Koreans have escaped. Of course, this is not a good thing. Women who work are not premised on these things-pillow sales to customers-but the government policy enforces a once-a-week sexually transmitted disease test, so minimum safety is ensured.)
I think that through my experience, they are quite violent because they have less hyness than Japanese women (like 70-80%), especially when they have children. There are parts that are desperate to satisfy men, and once you experience it, you can earn many Japanese men who fit into the Phillippines.
SNS is also popular in these days
Facebook is also important tools!!
Recently, there are many Filipinas who approach through facebook. Looking at that trend, most of these KTV-related women are also doing FB, and since they go to the store and search for them, they apply for friends, so here too. I approve of it, but once I connect with these people, it looks like it’s a friend, and beyond … and in fact, this continues to expand, Once connected in the form of friends, when some of them approach with messengers, I have no language barriers, so I can communicate freely. When it becomes clear, it is often “I want you to meet me” from the other party.
However, at this time as well, if I say “I should have been married on FB …” after that, there will be over 50% of the pattern where there is no message, and the remaining 30% will try to pull money by some means. However, the remaining 20% is frustrated and somehow wants to have a relationship with a man (or is intermingled with financial circumstances). In a terrible case, after approving a friend’s request, there was a pattern that suddenly threw a video communication, and when this received it, the other party showed off nakedness. (I was apparently young and cute so I couldn’t think of doing that.) However, this wasn’t because there was some kind of communication in the previous stage, and I don’t know what the other party is planning. Immediately after disconnecting, I blocked the other party …
More chances to meet up
Girls love masculine guys
I can keep going but it could be too long so I stop here.
I talked about general stories but also I learn a lot from my experience.
To be frankly speaking, I don’t think many girls here would like how I look like. I never thought I would be popular among girls in Japan. But some girls here really like my appearance. I’m in my 50s but here average life expectancy is lower than that in Japan and I look younger than guys in their 30s here and I look masculine. I used to train a lot of my muscle and I do think I look okay. I once updated my picture of muscles and guys loved it!
Doing too much is bad though!!
However, if you think you are too popular and be obnoxious, you might be dead so I’m really paying attention for that. Still, there’s economical difference in this society.
Realistically, their eating reality hasn’t improved yet so even though you eat, you may not eat healthy, so some girls might start looking older in their 20s and I might look younger, Some girls in 40s still approach me and I sometimes receive their pictures though facebook.
One girl was…
In such a situation, one day, I was enthusiastic from the 26-year-old Filipina she was legally single, but her husband was 3 years older than my wife, and she had an 8-year-old child). I was approached and was also free, so I saw her a little bit. Of course, she said that she was married and she wanted to see me, even after she revealed that he lived there. As I listened to the story, I could understand her feelings, but I felt sorry for him.
Mr. A said that he started his relationship with his current de facto husband when he was 15 years old (it seems to be his first man), and he seems to have started living together when he was 16. Therefore, she seems to have stopped attending school in the equivalent of a first year high school student in Japan. (At that time, my husband was an adult at the age of 18-here is an 18-year-old adult)
After that, when she was 18 years old, her current only son was born, but after that, the husband refused to officially enroll for some reason, she repeatedly changed jobs because “ I can not do with the current income ” “ I want you to … ”, but I can continue to refuse, but even my low income is painful, my husband buys and drinks alcohol at a general store in the neighborhood, so I have no patience and play with other men I wanted to. If possible, I wanted to marry a foreigner who had good income (* Because the previous story, her status is still single) …
If you don’t understand this Filipino social background well, it seems that you will sympathize with her. Though itt is a rare case that her husband maintains a relationship with her after she has a child and works properly despite her low income but gives her living expenses. The reason why her husband does not formally marry her is, this is only my imagination, but perhaps her self-assertion is too strong, and even her mother lives nearby. Because she blamed her husband on board, I think that he’s getting stubborn because of that.
Also, if her husband started living together with her and married legally at the age of 18, he naturally does not have the qualification of high school graduate in Japan and still wants what he gets now. Therefore, I think that Mr. A’s request is clearly unreasonable. For that reason, I sometimes suggested her to have different options but she still wanted to see him.
How to keep relationship with them
Go to KTV!!
Well, aside from that, if you just want to play or feel like a romance, you can just go to KTV and don’t feel strange. There are also shops where you can take girls home if you just want satisfy your sexual desire.
If you want to go a step further and have a local wife, you can take KTV girls outside, or you can go to a girl who is approaching with FB. However, it is necessary to communicate with the local information with appropriate communication skills, and by all means, do not give the other party the illusion of being able to marry at least in the first stage, in a form that does not rot. It is. (This may be a scam. Also, if you do it badly, there is a risk of being deceived by the other party.)
If you marry, remarriage is good
If you go one step further and seriously think about getting married, we don’t recommend the first marriage with Filipina. I often hear that young Japanese men (20’s) are uncomfortable and difficult to get along with. In short, it is difficult to gain a certain amount of life experience and to a certain extent to afford to include the other person or to understand the local culture. It may sound like a contradiction to the quality of the Filipino men I talked about earlier, but they pretended to be such gentlemen to satisfy their desires.
However, recent young Japanese men seem to be working with good or bad gender equality in Japanese society, and there is a situation where general Filipinas are placed especially in economic terms. For example, transportation costs when guys invited girls for a date and it is quite a burden for them. It’s important to think of those girls. Sometimes they invite them for a date but change their minds all of a sudden and just cancel their appointments. If they do so, those girls get penalty from the stores!! So sometimes those girls ask other people like me to join them at the store to make it look like they came together with girls. This is not rare.
Good relationship with those girls
If Japanese guys want to marry somebody in Philippine, you better have more than high school degrees. Then you can get a so-called average wives as you expect in Japan.
If possible, don’t get girls who have kids. If they have kids, sometimes parents’ expectation and those in Japan is so different and you might get some conflicts. Their environment is not great for boys to grow up so sons could make some troubles. However, if those girls listen to you and ask your opinions, things might work well.
I hope you’ll have good relationship with them.