This year marks the 11th year since I married my English husband. She now lives in England with two children and four. Before I got married, I didn’t really think “I want to marry a foreigner!”, It just means that the person I met and fell in love with was a foreigner.
Recently, the number of internationally married couples is increasing. Here, I would like to tell you about the “knack for establishing an international marriage” that I think from my experience.
Of course!! Linguistic problems
Can’t speak English as good as Japanese
If you have an international marriage, live in the language of the other person, and live in the other country, it is natural that you will hit the “wall of words”. I don’t have a problem with everyday conversation, but I sometimes think that it has fine English nuances and “I wish I could say this story in Japanese now …”.
In other words, I feel the wall of words with detailed expressions. However, I may be optimistic because I reopen with “Well, I’m sorry!”
Conversation with husband’s family
When my husband’s family is talking together and friends are talking, I’m worried that I can’t speak well because I can’t get into everyone’s circle. What’s more, I feel that I don’t have to force myself into conversations with a large number of people now.
If it’s something I want to know, I’ll ask her husband to explain it later. Actually, I have to work harder to improve my English, but since I live in a second language and the other person speaks my mother tongue, I also want them to cooperate.
Communication requires efforts!!
Mothers of my children’s friends
As your child begins to go to kindergarten or school, you will have more opportunities to read English letters from school every day and talk to your mom friends. It takes time to read an English letter, and “I don’t understand English” does not work for communication with the teacher. Above all, it’s for kids.
However, no matter how difficult it may be, the situation will change as long as you make an effort to communicate with your mom friends and teachers.
Those who understand you
In the UK, there are many people who try to understand even the poor English of Asians, which is very helpful to me. It’s painful to be asked for perfect English, but you can see that you are trying to make an effort.
When I get married internationally and live abroad, I am keenly aware that language communication is important and that efforts are even more important.
Difference of culture and habitants
Different from work
When you get married internationally and live in the other country, you have to get used to the differences in culture and customs. This is the case in Japan! It will be stressful if you compare it with. And in fact, it’s the UK that often happens unthinkable in Japan.
For example, when I call for an inquiry, it says “I’ll look it up and call you back by the end of the day”, but I don’t have a 99% call back. You have to call yourself again. In addition, the wiring of the Internet, the construction schedule, and the delivery date and time of the ordered item will be delayed. While giving up on being late again, I recently learned that “don’t expect”. If you want to get things done, it’s life in England that you have to move positively from here to get things going smoothly. You also need the ability to adapt and act overseas so that you can live without stress. Living abroad is difficult unless you accept the differences in habits and get along well.
Daughter and mother-in-law relationship
The bride and mother-in-law problem is of course also in England. I can’t say I’m separated from my child, or an English mother loves her son! I make the same phone calls to my husband every day, such as “How was it today?” And “How was your grandson’s school?” He also has a very gentle conversation with him. At first, I wondered, “Why do you call me again?”, But I got used to it.
I have also been told that the washing and cleaning methods are different. Because of the differences in habits, I still sometimes think “What?” And “What?”. But I’m grateful that there is no culture to live together in England. Parents may live in the neighborhood and help, but they are unlikely to be forced to live together or care for them. Home helpers and facilities are common in the UK.
Energy for Action and adjustments
The language barrier is painful, but it requires effort to overcome it. Communication can be overcome with effort, and above all, a happy couple and family are the best. In order to live abroad without any stress, it is necessary to have some ability to act and adapt. If you are thinking of international marriage, please refer to it.