International Marriage is Surprising!? How To Communicate With Relatives In Indonesia!!

It has been 10 years since I married an Indonesian husband. I’ve been with each other for three years before marriage, and I wasn’t particularly worried because it was a marriage that understood Indonesian well, but when I got married, there were a lot of surprises and confusion at first. . Even if you are Japanese, it will be even more so if you get an international marriage. In this article, I will talk about my experiences about what I felt after getting married to Indonesian and what I learned for the first time.

Good points to marry an Indonesian

 Anyway kind

It helps me to take care of my child, take me to play, and do my housework when I am busy with work. Even if you go on a holiday, you can see many young families. Many Indonesian men, like pushing a stroller or wearing a strap, give priority to family on holidays.

However, this seems to be limited to the younger generation. Some older generations, such as my husband’s father, did not take care of children’s baths or diapers, and there are many people who can not do housework, so even the same Indonesian people can participate in housework and child care depending on the generation Looks different.

 There is no night relationship

Muslims don’t drink, so there is no drinking party after work. It’s Zara to say that I’m home at 4 or 5 So, I have nothing to do with the stress of my husband returning late! You can also go out for a meal after your husband’s return home.

 Take care of your family

Indonesians take care of their parents as well as their parents. My husband doesn’t speak Japanese, so I can’t speak much with my parents, but I still appreciate the feelings that are taken care of.

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What is difficult

 Dense fellowship

For Indonesians, friendship is very important. In the first place, the range of “relatives” is stunning compared to Japan. Of course, people who have a blood connection, for example, “Uncle who lived in the neighborhood of his husband’s mother’s parents’ family” is also treated as a relative, and at the time of the New Year’s Fast, we have to go to the greeting every year , “Husband ’s sister ’s sister ’s husband ’s brother” was asked to take care of the job, “husband ’s father ’s cousin ’s husband” suddenly came and stayed for about 3 days, I was told to lend me … There are too many relatives and it is impossible to match my face with my name. What’s more, when I ask my husband, “Who is that person?” It was hard at first to take a lot of time and labor to get along with those relatives.

 Deeper relationship with parents-in-law

Since the relationship with relatives is such a tone, the sense of distance between the husband’s parents is even closer. Since Indonesian parents are absolute, they talk about various things, and even if they come to stay for about a month, the bride cannot complain. When I came to the delivery room when I gave birth, I was really surprised. Although I was breastfeeding afterwards, I was quite puzzled at first when I entered the room without knocking, but my husband said, “ I can not help because it seems like a real daughter when I got married I was given up and gave up. Anyway, the distance to my parents-in-law is close, but my husband calls me once a week, so I’m saved without doing anything. Even so, my husband and other Indonesian men are really impressed by calling their parents.

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What I found out

 They love car wash

Indonesian men love car washing as much as they feel from a Japanese perspective. It is not uncommon for people to wash every day. It was not once or twice that I disliked my husband who was energetically polishing a car rather than taking a child in the bath. Certainly, Indonesia has many roads that are not yet paved, and the air is always dusty, so just running a little will make your car dirty like you wouldn’t expect in Japan. So, in Japanese thinking, it feels like “I don’t wash it every day because it gets dirty right away …”, but for Indonesians, it seems embarrassing to run in a dirty car. Socks are a mysterious story, although they don’t change every day.


In Indonesia, all laundry is ironed. Clothing, underwear, towels, jeans, etc. I was surprised when I saw a helper at an acquaintance’s house ironing a swimsuit. In Indonesia, it is no exaggeration to say that if your husband is wrinkled, she will be disqualified from her wife. I think T-shirts and jeans feel comfortable to wash, but I regret that my wife and my mother are disqualified, so today I’m ironing while sweating.

 Exceptional hot dishes

Freshly cooked rice and freshly fried foods are appetizing for the Japanese, but for Indonesians they are too hot to eat so they wait until they cool. At first, I was trying my best to serve rice at the most delicious time, but recently, it has become irrelevant.

In addition, the dishes made in our house are not used for chili, according to children who are not good at spicy foods, but it seems that the spicy husband seems unsatisfactory and sprinkles dobadoba and chili powder without tasting before eating. Looking at it, it would be difficult for the taste preferences in the home to be unified.

If you are planning to marry an Indonesian person, it will be a little helpful, and especially for those who are not planning to do something, “Hey, is n’t this what a marriage life with an Indonesian person is like?” I’m glad to have it.

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