The spread of the Internet has made it easier than ever to cross national borders. You can get in touch on time even when you’re away, and you can use English to communicate with people all over the world. So this time, I would like to introduce three points that I felt when I had a Chinese husband and I want to remember when I have a romance with a foreigner. Whether you are in an international romance or want to have an international romance, please read this.
They have different perspectives
I wrote it a little exaggeratedly, but I think it’s better to think that Japanese people don’t understand anything from small things to big things. It depends on the country of the other party and the individual, so it is important to exchange words properly with your lover to understand.
For example, there was something like this around me. Husband living in Japan American wife Japanese internationally married couple. One child is an elementary school girl. The couple made a big deal because of the difference in perceptions of Father’s Day and Mother’s Day.
Since she is also a father, the American husband thought that on Father’s Day, she should have a special dinner and thank her for her daily gratitude. In the same amount, as a mother of a child to my wife, I prepared a big party and a surprise present on Mother’s Day.
However, from a Japanese perspective, Father’s Day and Mother’s Day are days when the child expresses gratitude to the father and mother, rather than the couple who became the father and mother celebrate each other. Perhaps because of that feeling, his wife didn’t prepare any special events for Father’s Day. Besides, her husband got angry and got into a couple quarrel. I can understand the feelings that my husband feels sorry for, and I can understand the feeling of my wife’s Father’s Day because I am Japanese. Neither is wrong, but in international romance and marriage, such a slight difference can lead to a fight.
They think of cool Japan
It is said that Japanese anime and pop culture are very popular all over the world in Japan, but not everyone in the world is enthusiastic about Japanese culture, saying “Japan is cool”.
Some foreigners find it “unpleasant” to see anime characters like young girls with outstanding style singing and dancing. This video is a movie of American children reacting to Japanese anime culture. Although it is in English, you can see that not all children accept it favorably.
I used to think that Japanese animation was the best in the world. However, one day my Chinese husband told me something like this. She said, “Japanese animation has only the image of naughty in China.” For me, it was like “Yes!”, But since that type of Japanese animation is widely known in China, my husband said, “Let’s spread Japanese animation to people all over the world at Cool Japan!” When I saw the Japanese news, I was surprised to hear, “What? Such a naughty thing?”
After all, it was an event that I thought it might be difficult to convey it correctly to the outside even if it belongs to any country. If I had an arrogant attitude that “Japanese animation is the best in the world!”, Foreigners who received Japanese culture with a biased image might think “Hmm?”.
Of course, Japanese culture is unique in the world and attracts many people. But it’s not the case that everyone in the world sees it favorably. Being too proud of “Cool Japan” may lead to clouding your glasses when you have an international romance.
You yourself have to see your partners
Basically, foreigners are more pervasive in the idea of individualism than Japanese. Each person is different. Sometimes you have to talk and collide many times to get to know your partner and get them to know you.
You can’t blame others for how you feel
For example, my foreign boyfriend loved hamburgers and said “I’m hungry” at the store and ordered 5 hamburgers and 3 ice creams. I think the Japanese girlfriend jokingly says this. She said, “I’m wondering how much I’ll eat, so stop! Lol.”
It’s not wrong to stop a foreign boyfriend eating junk food. However, the reason is that foreigners feel that “stop because it is bad for your body”. Even if it’s a joke, I don’t think it’s understandable that such a joke comes out.
There’s no stereo-type foreigners
My husband is Chinese, but his voice is not loud at all. It’s more polite than I am and it’s lined up properly. Her husband is not uncommon, and there are many Chinese people like her husband.
After I got married to her husband, I realized that because I’m Chinese, I’m going to do some mess, and because I’m Chinese, I’m going to say crazy things … it’s just a stereotype made by the Japanese side. Of course, there are many Chinese with bad manners. But I think it’s the same as having Americans and Japanese with bad manners. In the case of Chinese people, the absolute population is large, and in the first place, Japanese people look at Chinese people with the prejudice that “this is why Chinese people are …”, so I wonder if it is easy to notice. I feel it.
My husband once told me this way. “The Japanese make a fool of the Chinese. The Chinese know that too.” At that time, I realized that if I discriminate against or look down on Chinese people based only on information from the media without thinking, it would hurt individual Chinese people. ..
I think this applies to international romance with all foreigners, not just Chinese. It is important to understand the individual in front of you, regardless of stereotype.
You can be happy to understand each other
Love with foreigners often collides. The joy of being able to understand each other is great because it is difficult to understand each other. Please have a wonderful international romance!