I’m a single woman in her 50s working for a Japanese company in the United States. She has been in the United States for 22 years. Currently, he is enjoying a single life, ending his 13-year marriage. The reason I came to the United States was to marry an American man I met in Japan. All five foreigners I have met so far are American men. I lived in Japan because it was easy to meet a person from the US military in Yokohama, so I have been married and divorced twice with a foreigner. Here, I hope my experience will help you to find out how to avoid failure.
How to keep relationship with foreigners?
Linguistic matters
Foreign men I have never met are very attractive, and I tend to be left with the kindness that Japanese men do not have, let alone understand the words. .. Even if you don’t know what to do, if you nod, it’s very dangerous and there is a high possibility that it will be used by the other party. Language skills are very important for dealing with foreigners, and if you are looking for equality with the other person, the first thing to do is to acquire language skills. It is very dangerous to leave everything to the other person in marriage, and the language barrier can be a factor that creates mutual passing. Language skills are so important. However, on the other hand, conflict can be an undeniable factor because it can be understood. In conclusion, I think I’ve seen couples around me lately who are doing well without divorce, thinking that it’s better not to know anything about half-finished language skills.
Religious issues
Nowadays, it is said that Japanese people are not very interested in religion, but in different countries, marriage can sometimes be important. When it comes to marriage, the story is different, even if it’s a trivial difference or forgiveness that you didn’t care about during your love affair. Religious customs and differences in lifestyle can’t be helped by effort alone. If you are thinking of getting married, you should think about religion as well. I had to go to church every Sunday, and Sunday morning was a pain. However, I couldn’t say no, and I had to put up with it for a year when I left the other’s parents’ house.
Becoming Family
Family
Marriage between Japanese people is different from the time of romance, and understanding of the family is important, but of course it is also important for international marriage. In my own case, I was married in a situation where there was almost no interaction with the other person’s family before the marriage, so when I met the other person’s family in the United States and saw the situation there, it was a feeling that was almost unbelievable. I remember. When I was in Japan, I felt that his mother often asked for money, but she didn’t care so much and thought it happened, but in fact America. When I lived with him, he was a useless mother who relied on his son economically. She’s a single mother, financially and mentally, saying that she wants to buy a car, so she pays a down payment, and she doesn’t pay any food expenses. He was a person who could only rely on someone. From experience, I feel that if you are going to get married, you should always check the financial situation of the other party so that you can get married.
For that reason, I also thought about returning to Japan. When you go to another country to marry, you should understand the other person’s family well.
Patience and vitality
Marriage is patience and essential regardless of country. After two marriages and divorces, if I put up with it at that time, and if it became more important, I might not have divorced. Because, when I was dissatisfied with each other, I couldn’t swallow the words without saying it because of my personality, and I think I was able to relieve my stress by attacking the other person. Because there are no families to rely on.
Everybody has different marriage life
First of all, please understand that I am not a successful international marriage. Before and after getting married, I thought that a strong woman who was fluent in languages and had a good job and became independent was suitable for international marriage. However, after thinking about getting married and divorced twice, I’m starting to think that a strong woman does not always succeed in romance or marriage with a foreigner. On the contrary, she is good at spoiling herself, does not work, and only relies on her husband, and I feel that such a woman keeps her marriage for a long time. I’ve heard that my husband can’t abandon her. My experience is only about marriage in the United States, and I think international marriage in Japan will be different again.
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