I think there are many young people who yearn for international marriage. Some may say that they were conscious of international marriage because of the image that they can live abroad and that half-children are cute. However, international marriage is not something that everyone can do. I am also married to a European, but there were various challenges leading up to this point. Here, I would like to talk about what kind of person international marriage is suitable for, with my experience.
Those who can bear with distant love
Possibilities of distant love
If you are going to have an international marriage, you may have to have a long-distance relationship across countries before you get married. Of course, there may be times when the other person works in Japan or you work abroad and you basically don’t need to have a long-distance relationship. However, as long as you are based in your own country, it is highly likely that you will have to have a long-distance relationship that transcends national boundaries.
Some people find it romantic to have a long-distance relationship that transcends national boundaries. But this is never easy. Since there is a time difference and each other’s lives, it is very important how to keep in touch and not to burn the scent.
Before we got married, my husband was studying at a university on the east coast of the United States, and we used Facebook to keep in touch frequently. I’ve been in a long-distance relationship since I started dating, so I’ve been maintaining the relationship once a week by talking over the internet.
It is difficult to keep distant relationship
The hardest part of this long-distance relationship was when my husband decided to get a PhD. We were already engaged at that time, but I was in Japan at that time. I knew the time of my husband’s oral examination, and I was squeezing my cell phone in real time and waiting for the result with excitement. I was delighted from the bottom of my heart when I was informed that I had passed. But that night, a local friend had a party. As a fiancé, I’ve heard before anyone else that I’ve passed the oral exam, and perhaps more than anyone else, but it’s kind of empty that I can’t attend a passing party that my local friends can attend. It was. Of course, my husband is the same, and I’m sorry for my local friends, but he didn’t really enjoy it.
There are many such difficulties in long-distance relationships. However, if this cannot be overcome, international marriage will not be possible.
You have to deal with complicated procedures to get VISA
Being marry and living together is different story
Occasionally, some people mistakenly think that if they get married internationally, they can live together without telling them, but that is not the case. If you get married and live in the other country, you have to get a visa for the other country. If you go to a country where they are not from, you must both get a visa.
However, recently, the number of fake marriages just to obtain a visa is increasing, and there are increasing cases where getting a visa does not mean that you can easily get a visa. Therefore, when getting married or getting a visa, there is objective evidence that you have been interviewed at a police station or embassy, that you have been dating, that you have been married, and so on. You may be asked to present it.
By the way, objective evidence includes meeting each other’s parents, having a wedding, having a picture taken by two people, living together, having children, etc. I will. If you are a couple who wants to have an international marriage, it is a good idea to be prepared for these.
Our situation
I married a husband from Europe and now live in China. Her husband worked in Europe when we got married, but I was still a graduate student. We had a wedding in a church in Europe, but three months after we got married, it was decided that my husband would work at a university in China, so I had to go back to Japan to present my research shortly after the ceremony. After having a wedding, I returned to Japan and my husband remained in Europe, each preparing to go to China.
However, the university where my husband was assigned said, “Because the couple must apply for a visa together, my wife should also apply for a visa in Europe.” Therefore, I flew to Europe shortly after my research presentation and tried to apply for a visa with her husband at the Chinese Embassy in the capital of her husband’s country of origin.
However, an unexpected happening happened there. The embassy told me that I cannot apply for a visa because I do not have the nationality of that country. Since it is the Chinese embassy, anyone with any nationality should be able to apply for a visa to go to China, but due to the circumstances of the government of the country of origin of the husband, those who do not have the nationality of that country He said that he would not accept visa applications.
I immediately contacted a university in China about this and decided to return to Japan to apply for a visa. At that point, we had already purchased a ticket from Europe to China. Fortunately, as a Japanese, I could stay in China for 15 days without a visa, so we went to China together and then I went back to Japan alone to apply for a visa. It was decided.
It was good that I could spend more time with my husband, but even though I was told to go to Europe, I couldn’t apply for a visa there and had to return to Japan, which was a lot of work. It costs money as well as time. However, there are many troubles related to such visas for international marriage. When considering international marriage, it is better to take such time and effort into consideration.
You have to understand other culture
Cultural different
Accepting the culture of the other person seems very easy, but it’s not. Certainly, when you travel abroad, everything looks fresh, so it feels relatively easy to blend in with that culture.
However, it can be difficult to live with someone who grew up in a country with a different mindset. Since the habits are different in the first place, we sometimes feel sick with each other.
The number one problem we had was to say what we wanted to ask the other person. Growing up in the habit of reading the air, listening to one and knowing ten, I couldn’t forgive my husband sitting alone when I was doing household chores. But the idea is that her husband will always say and help if he wants to help. Sure, no matter how tedious it is, no matter how tired your husband is doing something else, he will definitely do it for you. .. Also, he always asks, “Would you like to help me?” And I will answer that. For my husband, the idea is that it is more efficient and correct to say what you need if you need help, rather than making decisions and moving on your own. This kind of cultural difference is inherent in international marriage.
How to deal with their family members?
Whenever you get married, you have to think about how to get married with your family. Especially troublesome is the parent of the other party. In my case, her husband’s family spoke English, so there was no language problem. However, no one in my family speaks English, so it’s hard for her husband to come to my parents’ house.
Also, my husband’s family doesn’t care much about the local culture and customs, so even when I was living at my husband’s parents’ house, I didn’t get stressed by the differences in culture and customs. However, my family tends to attach great importance to Japanese culture, and my husband also expects it. My husband is relatively flexible in accepting Japanese culture, but it’s very complicated to see if it’s enough for my family. Therefore, I am very careful when I return to my parents’ house.
In recent years, it has been said that marriage belongs to them, but marriage is still a problem involving the family. In order to have an international marriage, you have to think not only about the other person but also about the other person’s family.
Adventurous abilities and skills to get correct information
The most important thing for an international marriage may be adventurous spirit. I am curious about what long-distance relationships are, what I can do to enjoy long-distance relationships, what visa is, what kind of culture the other person is, and try various things. The feeling of doing is important.
In addition, if you are going to have an international marriage, you need to have the ability to sort out information when investigating how to submit documents for international marriage and how to obtain a visa. The Internet has become widespread these days, so you can get as much information as you want by searching the Internet. However, there is a lot of uncertain information on the Internet, and above all, the procedures for international marriage and visa acquisition change frequently. Therefore, it will hurt if you swallow the information on the Internet. Therefore, it is necessary to take the information on the Internet as a hint and to collect the latest information by making a phone call or actually visiting.
If you are thinking of international marriage, please give priority to these points. International marriage may be suitable for those who are curious about everything and who do not have to worry about research.
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